Wednesday, 15 September 2010

The cold

The cold: the noun. The unpleasantness that isn't really an illness so much as an invasion of the disgusting but moderate into your body. Everyone seems to be suffering from the challenge of the cold this week.

The symptoms: the alternating of cold and warmth in your body that are somewhere between an itch and a shiver; the outpouring of infection; the tickle in the throat and the ache just above the eyebrows and all the way along to the ears; the slight loss of hearing; the acute loss of interest in virtually everything except the television and downy devices to drape over oneself; the mimicking of a bear (a grumpy one); the endless drinking and therefore endless toilet visits; the fact that colleagues think a disgusting drink will make you feel great again even though when they are ill a ward has to be set up to dispense comfort to them; the sucking so many sweets that your tongue has sores; the fact that none of the sweets or drinks taste any good but they are all you can taste and the nice food is bland; the chapping of the nose, lips, cheeks; feeling like a pariah at the theatre, cinema, concert because you are disturbing everyone but not wanting to miss.

Ultimately there is nothing much wrong with you and you have to carry on and that's fine and you should be grateful- grateful and disgusting. So I am grateful and disgusting. If you are too I do hope you don't feel too wretched.

10 comments:

Helena Halme said...

Poor you - my sympathy. xx

Ines said...

Oh, I hope it's over soon.
One of the most benign sicknesses but one that makes you feel the most awful.

Savoir Weddings said...

But a good old fashioned cold lets you revel in feeling sorry for yourself and doing nothing but mooch about and watch both episodes of Neighbours a day. Enjoy while it lasts, before real life resumes!

Philip said...

rose - you are so spot on. All 3 of us have got the cold. If i was a superhero I'd be Mr Mucus, with my sidekick Coughcoughwoman and our apprentice sniffgirl.
I'm really enjoying how you write.

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I had mine in August. A dreaded thing. It was my first head cold in fourteen years and I was thoroughly disenchanted with the whole experience. Sleep is the only thing that works!

Fickle Cattle said...

I hate colds. I'm one of those people who seem to have them all the time. ALL THE TIME. It's annoying.

ficklecattle.blogspot.com

Rose said...

you are all very, very kind to wish me better- Philip I hope it doesn't last too long- keep up the fluids and I'm finding yoghurt is helping too

Metropolitan Mum said...

There you are - I have started to wonder if you had run off to a nicer and sunnier place (although it is very sunny today in London).
Hope you'll feel better soon. xx

Rose said...

Yes I'm here- with a small, croaky voice- looking forward to next week- promise to not be infectious by then! x

Gorilla Bananas said...

My favourite palliatives are:

(1) hot water flavoured with ginger root;

(2) the inhalation of steam;

(3) locusts and wild honey.