Wednesday 26 November 2014

Love and the kind of woman I don't want to be

I took a train north this week and was sat with an older couple (I much prefer to sit alone of course and work/ feed the social media habit I heard myself denying recently, madly as I do clearly love social media- well mostly, except all the endless cats and Kardashians). 

Older couples in love are one of my absolute favourite things, but older couples like this one are not. I'm afraid there is a certain kind of woman that reminds me of everything I don't want to be in a relationship- in fact this type of lady makes me really quite troubled. 

As I said the couple in question were at least 70 but I have witnessed this strange behaviour in women my own age in relationships where they feel they I think can get away with it- or worse where they think they're both happy. 

In this case of the 11.20 from Euston the husband had to endure being asked if he needed the toilet and told it was his snack time (he appeared to be completely sharp and read the Guardian from cover to cover so I don't think we can say this was for medical reasons). Some women just start talking to men in a really bossy, motherly over bearing way that I literally fear. I fear it because surely once toilet checks and snack time are in sex and romance must be out, but also to be less flippant how can you speak that way to someone who is the piece of Lego that fits with your piece? how do you spend so long looking and then end up making these conversations the way you spend your life with your spouse. 

I have also sat in Byron (other burger restaurants are available) quite recently and heard a 30 ish year old chap be told what he should eat. Really. He was told he should have a burger with salad not bun and that he'd like to share chips (clearly the courgette fries are the thing to have there but anyway). To be honest he looked like he could eat a bun and still fit in his jeans but the point isn't about waistline, it's about dignity. 

You could argue that the men in these scenarios could just leave or tell these women where to go with snack time or bunless burgers but they obviously don't. Why? 

I just wonder where these relationships go wrong and it makes me as sad as the 80 year olds holding hands on benches make me feel happy- which is to say very. 


Metropolitan Mum said...

It's feminism gone terribly wrong. But I doubt this really is about feminism. It's maybe about men you have been abuse-mothered by their own mothers and are used to this kind of relationship?

wildnettle said...

Me too ;)
Nice blog

Rowena Welch said...

There’s something in their love-story that transformed the woman’s behavior. Nevertheless, I don’t want to be that woman too.

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Unknown said...

This kind of situation where you can think only of your heart
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