I have always suspected you are either a Christmas person or a New Year person. While I love Christmas I must confess to usually having to psyche myself up for New Year- not the new start, resolutions bit, I actually find all that quite refreshing and engaging- it’s the actual eve. I love a party at any time but there is something about the enforced jollity of New Year’ Eve that I find fails- I don’t seem to have all that much fun until about 2am when everyone relaxes and the fun really gets going- then it’s great sure but it’s a party like any other.
This year though something has changed and I’m very excited about New Year. It helps that I’m doing something this year that I would bite someone’s arm off to do on any day let alone New Year- but it isn’t just that, I really want to see out this year and see next with a blast. This has mostly been a good year for me and I think it deserves a good send off. My worries are really for what happens from the 1st onwards. Next year will be a big year for me. I’m in the twilight of my twenties now and though I’m very happy with myself I am not married, home owning or any of those things.
In some ways before I go down that road I want to have really achieved something. To me that doesn’t just mean flats, cars and shoes, which it seems to mean to so many people, it means something I will be proud of later. I suppose if I am totally honest because I don't know if I am going to achieve the conventional happiness- I would like to but I don't think life ends if you don't. I really don't. Sadly some people around me do and that is starting to cause some issues. The opportunity of a fresh start is wonderful but right now I feel a bit too tired to pick everything up and be relentlessly positive about all that I do and everyone I see again. It will pass as all blue days do. The restorative nature of Christmas and some time at home with family and animals is a blessing but when you come back you come back to everything being the same but this time without Christmas to look forward to.
So thank goodness for new year- a big party to blow the post Christmas melancholy away and then onwards- going not gently into 2010.