There’s a second before a stranger speaks to you when you
know what's going to happen.
I saw her from a distance, it was a Saturday evening- it was
dusk, the air was close and it was about to rain.
I was walking from the bus stop, the end of the route, to my
house. I was content and apparently to the observer lost in my thoughts and the
(loud) music in my headphones.
I'm rarely completely unaware of my
surroundings and so it was that I may have looked in a daydream but I knew
there was a man just behind me with a muzzled dog, a lady letting herself into
the block of flats on the left and another lady walking quickly towards me,
around 50 metres away to the right.
She was clearly a little agitated,
lots of long what looked like wet blond hair was flapping against her white t-shirt and her stick thin
legs were moving at a pace I could tell was just overstretching them.
As she came closer she moved her
body towards me, without yet crossing the road. I knew then she was going to
pick me to speak to, but I still didn't know why. I was a young girl on my own
perhaps? People say I look friendly, maybe that could be why or possibly I had something
on my face?! All of these were options. I didn't feel threatened or concerned
really, but I wasn't entirely happy about the situation either- perhaps
instinctively because I'm usually quite prepared, even pleased, to speak to a
passer by.
I tried to walk on but I had to concede
and take my headphones out. The lady was older than me but dressed as my age.
She clearly did have wet hair and it still hadn't rained. Odd I thought to
myself. I also noticed she didn't have a bag, extra odd for a woman.
She said she needed to get a bus
(remember the bus stop is just behind me so okay). She needed the fare (I
think everyone anywhere near London in recent weeks has been made more than aware by TFL that they don't accept cash
on buses now... So not sure here). Initially it was £2 then it became needing to get a
bus and then a train to Aylesbury (lots of detail) and £15 she was looking for.
I am tough minded but kind hearted,
I listened on, she was clearly upset which is never pleasant, whatever the reason. She said her
boyfriend had just thrown her out, she'd been in the shower (if all of this was
a tale, the wet hair is still the curious part). She was trying to get to her
Mother's.
Earlier that day I had been to see a
film called Calvary- in central London- and I was now back out in Calvary of a
kind, certainly beyond the city walls (zone 3 in
tfl terms).
The film is about a good man who is
a Priest. It very much provoked ideas In me about people who have a vocation to
help others- and people who don't- and the price people sometimes pay for being good- and the choices they make, knowingly. I don't have the goodness of some but I gave
the lady £15. I looked at her arms, there were no visible signs of drug use, I
looked at her face and eyes, I don't think she was high, she looked affluent
enough to not need to make up stories to get £15 but I was aware it probably
was a story. On that day though I thought about it and I thought if I had cause
to need £15 and no one would help me, what would I do, yes she could have gone
to the police and no you shouldn't give strangers money but she seemed in genuine need and distress.
The lady kissed me and offered me
her number but ultimately didn't give it to me, I didn't push the point and
neither did she. I hope she wasn't going to buy drugs, given where I was and
the designer type clothes she had on I don't think it was that. I'm still not
really sure what it was she was doing or quite why I gave her the money- it
wasn't an impulsive decision, I had time to think it through and I made that choice to sacrifice the £15- under the influence of film I think. Yes I was partly
looking after myself, by then only she and I were on the street and she was
worked up, but that wasn't the reason. I think I felt something was very wrong
for her and she couldn't really say what. I hope I didn't allow her to do
herself any harm.
My walk home after that episode was
different, I was silent and quiet outside and inside. In life- and in London particularly-
you sit, stand and walk so close to complete strangers all the time and you
have no idea what is happening in their lives. They could desperately need help but who would know, they could be villians and how would you tell.
The photo is of Sligo, from their tourism website. Sligo features in the film Calvary- and looks very beautiful.