Wednesday 29 July 2009


I suppose I had always thought that most of my friends and I would get married one day and when we did get married we would have bridesmaids.

As people are getting hitched I have noticed that despite the long list of essentials at a wedding- favours, decorations, save the dates- the one thing that seems not to be essential is bridesmaids.

This isn’t true of everyone of course- it’s probably only a third of people- but as friends and I have talked about it it’s become clear that quite a few people don’t think they will have bridesmaids for various reasons.

I can understand this in part. If I had a very small wedding just literally for my beloved and I and parents I probably wouldn’t think of them but I think I had always thought I would have some little helpers if I had a larger ceremony.

I have been a bridesmaid, it was wonderful fun, very special and lots of work but I thoroughly enjoyed it and wouldn’t want to have not had that experience.

Funnily enough those people who don’t want bridesmaids do still want help to get ready, to drink some champagne and share that time so it’s not they want to be alone.

I also find it very interesting that all the grooms in question are having an almost excessive number of ushers, best men, guards and general wing men- it’s almost as if the roles have reversed!

I am not getting married in the forseeable future but I have started to think- what would I do? Would I ask someone who thought bridesmaids were silly to be mine? I suppose not, but then I would be compromising the happiness of my day somewhat wouldn’t I? I think I always thought I would have a couple of dear friends with me and behind me but perhaps I won’t and perhaps there will come a time when people don’t.

Bride picture courtesy of Dave and Charlotte's blog viaWedding blog awards.


Pamela Terry and Edward said...

I had bridesmaids and I loved it. Might be something about the royalty know, ladies-in-waiting and all that!! Anyway, it was pretty and so much fun!

ScentScelf said...

I have been a bridesmaid, and enjoyed helping a friend have a special day. When it came to my own wedding, it was a small affair, and we did not have any form of attendant. As we said as part of our vows..."you may have noticed that nobody is standing up here with us, but that doesn't mean nobody is standing up in our wedding. Look around are all standing (they were; small venue)."

I figure, as long as the style and formation you choose is thoughtful and has meaning and brings joy to you, that's the *right* way to do it. :)

Rose said...

Hi Pamela- yes I loved being one and it's true it probably does act to the regal feeling on the day. I felt quite regal just being in the procession!

Hi Scentscelf- your wedding sounds like it was beautiful. I hope I have such a special day when and if the time comes.