Wednesday 30 September 2009
As a child I was old beyond my years, able to sit up until the wee hours holding my own at dinner table conversations (well I thought I was holding my own, I suspect I was being indulged). As an adult I'm more of a Peter Pan figure. I still love children's books and films; I do believe in Santa Claus and unicorns; I hate going to bed at bed time and I think I'm going to end up with my Prince Charming. Okay so my toys might be shoes, jewellery, cds and books and my over indulging might be on wine rather than penny sweets (actually scrap that I had a dib dab the other day and it was great!) but the principle is the same. I have a child like approach and have always thought that to keep young was to keep fresh and alive.
I'm not Peter Pan though am I and there is a danger in not wanting to grow up, which Peter of all people knows. Not everyone wants to live in Neverland and by choosing to stay there you might not be able to see the ones you love as much.
I'm getting older and I am fine with that actually. Really. I don't want to be older in the sense of wrinkles and aching knees but it's life. I always wanted to be one of those middle aged and later older people who still seemed young though and who kept their dreams and silly fantasies.
Lately I'm afraid I've seen the odd face look down on me for that. Not for being excited about Christmas or a birthday cake but for not being more pragmatic, for not making do and accepting- whether that's a man, the state of the country I'm living in or other people's actions or work. I don't understand this at all. So I'm a bit of a dreamer, so what. My dreams keep me sane. I'm not really away with the fairies or I wouldn't manage all the things I manage in the course of a day. So there.
I believe in fairies. You have to say it really loudly. I believe in fairies.
Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens picture courtesy of: http://www.artofthestate.co.uk/london_photos/Peter_Pan_Hyde_Park.htm